Every year, the Jellicle cat tribe has what they call The Jellicle Ball. In it, Jellicle cats sing Jellicle songs to the Jellicle leader Old Deuteronomy (Dame Judi Dench) and she decides which Jellicle cat gets to Jellicle go to the HeavySide Layer Jellicle for a new Jellicle life. But Jellicle the wicked Macavity (Idris Elba) wants to make sure he is chosen, by Jellicle hook or Jellicle crook.
Tired of hearing the word Jellicle yet? That's kind of how I felt after the first few minutes of CATS. I swear, if they made a drinking game of the number of times that that one word was spoken, the audience would be dead from alcohol poisoning before the finale. In terms of overexaggerated hyperbole when it comes to this film, that's about the best I've got for you. I didn't outright hate this film. I got over the supposed "uncanny valley" CGI humanization of the feline characters rather quickly. There seemed to be genuine effort and skill put into this production and all of the performers seemed to be giving it their all and having a blast doing so. There's just one simple problem. I just didn't care.
I had never seen CATS before so I went into this movie hoping for, if not a good story, then something so-bad-it's-awesome in just how spectacularly it fails. Hey, the trailers made it look like it look like at least the latter, right? Well, what I came away with was a bunch of characters being introduced to me, having their personalities and traits sang to me and then oh, look at the time gotta hurry along to the next character and musical number and yes, they ALL get musical numbers. Some characters even get two!
In terms of concepts, it's certainly unique and not without ambition, but in terms of making a solid narrative structure, it's found wanting. And this is with the film adding more structure into the story than the stage play has, as I've been told. The lack of a strong narrative made it difficult for me to get invested in these characters and their goals. It's not that I don't get it. I just didn't care about any of the characters. It's not that a story can't be found in this musical. It's that the production never seems all too interested in telling us about it. They're content to just speed through song after song like a Spotify playlist in the Speed Force.
I've seen all of the hand-wringing. I've heard the over-dramatized ballyhooing. I've noticed the hype of this movie being likened unto peeling back the thin veil of this reality to simply glance at the totality of the dark underbelly of this universe and going mad from the revelation. To all of this, I simply say. This isn't that crazy. Is it an odd choice? Yes, but CATS is not a conventional musical production in a multitude of ways. It's basically Andrew Lloyd Webber putting music and dance numbers to T.S. Elliot poetry. It's one thing to not like the movie, and that's perfectly fine. But is it the worst movie of the year? Serenity would like a word with you.
My friend Matt, who saw this with me, is a fan of the musical, having seen it back in San Francisco many years ago. He explained it thusly: "People don't go to see CATS for the story, they see it for the dancing and the music." And I will give credit where it's due, the dancing numbers and music are very well composed and performed. Francesca Hayward, a ballerina in the Royal Ballet at London's Convent Garden, is an amazing dancer with near-perfect body control and the ability to mimic cat-like movements. What little acting she did here won't light the world on fire, but not a whole lot of standard non-singing acting was given to anyone.
Jennifer Hudson's rendition of "Memory" was the highlight of the movie. She brings power, emotion and depth to her vocals and for a brief moment, she seemed the most compelling character on-screen. Everyone else seemed like they were at least having a good time, especially Idris Elba's Macavity. Ian McKellen and Judi Dench do the best they can to class up the place while James Corden and Rebel Wilson are there to be James Corden and Rebel Wilson and if that's your thing, that's cool.
I would like to note that, as of the writing of this article, I have not seen the new "update" version of CATS. I have no plans on seeing it, either. Mainly because it won't really effect or change my opinion on my enjoyment or lack thereof of this movie. Also, this kind of sets a dangerous precedent that studios can just rush out unfinished films and then "patch" them later so they can have folks pay to watch the same movie twice trying to play "Spot the effects change!" I'd say I sure hope that studios don't adopt the video game plague upon mankind that is "Crunch" (corporate practice that abuses computer-animation/game programmers to work almost 24/7 to rush projects to market before they're even finished or tested). But then it's corporate studios and if there's a way for them to make all of the money right now, workers well-being, either physical or mental, is no object.
That all being beside the point, CATS is definitely an experience. Not one that engaged me particularly well, but I did find things to appreciate about it. The bombastic music and terrific dance numbers are as good as advertised, but I guess I was just hoping for more story meat on the bones of this Jellicle. If you have a chance to see it, do so with fresh eyes and perspective.
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